| 015 |
[24 Aug 2008|03:03pm] |
Harry's giving tours at the Statue of Liberty. I don't know how long this is going to last, since he didn't seem to like it much. I finally wore my parents down, and I just got home from spending the past two weeks up in New York, visiting Harry and checking out Juilliard. He said I need to visit him again around Christmas, when the tree's up in Rockefeller Center and there's ice skating. But we had fun, anyway, and he found this movie that he said he was positive I would love. It's called The Red Shoes, and he found a videotape of it in some small store in the city. He was right, by the way. I absolutely love it, and I think it's my new favorite.
And now I'm more ready than ever to be done with high school and go to Juilliard and become a famous dancer, like Moira Shearer. But I won't have the same problem Vicky Page did in the movie. If I had to choose between love or dance, I'll choose dance.
I wish the Juilliard website would be updated with the dates and deadlines for admission for fall 2009. They still have all the dates for fall 2008, even though they've all passed. I need to know when the dates are so that I can start planning and get my application done.
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| 014 |
[04 Jul 2008|01:28pm] |
So, I haven't written in here in a while. But I only just got back yesterday. One of the dance camps that I used to go to when I was a kid was last week, and I was a counselor there this year, so I've been in Georgia since the 20th. Other than that, I didn't really have much in the way of plans for the summer, though I'm still hoping to get up to New York to visit my brother. And check out Juilliard
Camp was fun, though, and the kids were really cute and pretty good for their age, too. There was this one little girl who was five years old (the camp was for ages 5 - 9) who I saw dancing with her teddy bear one evening, and it was so cute, she looked like she was having a lot of fun.
Anyway, happy fourth, everyone.
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| 013: filtered private |
[05 Jun 2008|02:15pm] |
Mom said I've been sulking ever since we came in SECOND. SECOND. And only barely ahead of Southside. We came THIS CLOSE to completely losing.
Maybe I shouldn't have been Captain this year. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT Nevermind. Breathe, Fee. Relax.
Second is still awesome. Juilliard will still be impressed, surely. I mean, I'm a Junior, and I'm Captain, and ... we didn't come in third. We didn't WIN, but we still got SECOND. Which is better than third. And next year we'll surely come in first.
I just need to be a better Captain. I need to work harder to inspire the whole team to be our best. Be positive! Positivity is good.
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| 012 |
[19 May 2008|11:12pm] |
Only three more weeks of this immature idiocy, and then it'll be summer. Gossip is such a waste of time. It's also one of the reasons I don't mind being practically invisible and unnoteworthy.
I wonder if the walls of the school would fall down without the constant stream of hot air from all the gossip flying around.
Of course, there's only one way to find out for sure.
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| 011 |
[13 May 2008|02:35pm] |
Such a wonderful week, this week! We WON!!!!!! came in first yesterday AND SOUTHSIDE CAME IN THIRD, YES! and secured our spot in the state competition.
And now that I'm in a better mood and less stressed, time to do the best friend assignment
( My best friend assignment. )
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| 010: filtered private |
[07 May 2008|12:20am] |
I can't sleep. Which is kinda silly, since it's not even really that late. It's the stress. I can't sleep, I'm never hungry anymore, which isn't that bad, since I could stand to lose a few pounds, Juilliard will hardly accept someone who's fat. Dancers are supposed to be small and light. Anyway I can't sleep. Everytime I close my eyes, I see us coming in second AGAIN, and I can't let myself think that way. Positive. We WILL come in first. Anything less isn't acceptable.
I wish life was a movie. I'd fast-forward through now and the rest of high school. Get to the good part: accepted to Juilliard, living in New York. Then I'll become a famous dancer and choreographer. And after I'm famous, I'll open a studio and teach.
And then I'll meet a guy who's Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, and Fred Astaire all wrapped up into one person. And he'd be like Blane in Pretty in Pink, he'd like me even though all I ever think about is dance, like how Blane liked Andie, even though she wasn't rich like his friends, and wait, I can't write all that, can the teachers read this? I don't want them knowing I like that movie. Better delete just in case.
Where's a fast-forward button when you need it?
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| 009 |
[29 Apr 2008|08:58pm] |
Is prom queen really so important that someone would cheat like that? There are so many more important things than prom queen.
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| 008: filtered to claire and kim |
[28 Apr 2008|09:44pm] |
Hey, I just wanted to let you guys know that I've decided not to go to prom this year. With competition just two days after prom and after how horribly we did last week, I need to concentrate on dance, not worry about something as silly as like prom. I hope you have fun, though.
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| 007: filtered private |
[28 Apr 2008|09:33pm] |
It's been almost a week. I keep playing the video over and over again, watching everything we did. We need to get it together and shape up. More focus during classes. And I need to focus more, too. Concentrate. Stop letting unimportant things clutter my mind. I need to be thinking about dance, nothing else. No more prom nonsense. I'll just tell Claire and Kim and my mom that I can't go. I'll go next year, after I've already been accepted to Julliard. There's too much else this year that I need to concentrate on instead of something as silly as prom.
Maybe I should visit Harry this summer. Even just for a few days. I can see him, he can tell me something absolutely brilliant that will put my mind at ease, like he always does, and we can also go by Julliard. I just want to look at the buildings, stand there on the sidewalk and look up at them, knowing that in just a year, I'll be a student there.
But for now, I need to concentrate on the dance team and getting us to win first on the 12th, and then take first at State on the 25th, too. I even need to put aside my own work on my Julliard audition pieces to concentrate on this. Getting first at State is just the thing to help set me apart from all the other girls who are auditioning.
I have a headache and I haven't been sleeping well, and I just ate a piece of chocolate and I wasn't even hungry. I need to calm down.
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| 006: filtered to dance team |
[23 Apr 2008|03:57pm] |
SECOND PLACE, UGH Second place is unacceptable. We all know that we're better than that. Better than SOUTHSIDE, too, they probably cheated. But if we want to win State, we're going to need to be better than we were yesterday. Lydia, I saw you wobble on that turn at the beginning and miss that step at the end. Don't do that again. Molly, a grimace is not a smile, and you looked like you'd swallowed a bug. Sabrina, I know you're new, but that isn't an excuse. Noodle arms are never acceptable.
We are just going to have to work harder than we already are, if we expect to do better next month.
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| 005: filtered to dance team |
[21 Apr 2008|07:32pm] |
Okay, we have competition tomorrow. I know that we'll do great and blow everyone else completely out of the water. We've been practicing and we're ready.
But I want everyone to get plenty of sleep tonight and eat a good breakfast in the morning and a good healthy lunch. We can't win if we're not rested or if we're starving.
Remember to smile.
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| 004: filtered private |
[21 Apr 2008|07:25pm] |
Okay. Competition is tomorrow. It's here, so at least we don't have to worry about travel. We'll have more time to practice before it actually starts and get warmed up.
Think positive.
We WILL come in first.
We WILL blow everyone else away.
Everyone WILL be perfect.
We have to win. IWe can't lose.
Okay Fee, breathe. Try to calm down. Getting sleep tonight is necessary. You can't expect to perform nearly at optimum level tomorrow if you don't get sleep tonight and you won't get sleep tonight if you don't calm down.
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| 003: filtered private |
[13 Apr 2008|01:38pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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| [ |
music |
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Frank Sinatra: "Dream" |
] |
Is prom all that anyone can talk about? It's still a month away. Is anyone still going to want to go to prom with their current dates by the time it comes around? High school practically translates into musical dates.
There's so much more important things to think about. Like the competition on the 22nd. And the competition on May 12th, then state on May 25th. Finals. All things more important than who's going to prom with who and wearing what.
My Juilliard audition dances. I have so many decisions to make. Should I choreograph them both myself? It would make the most sense, after all, so that I can show not only my dancing skills, but also my choreography skills. The current requirements do say that they can be original works. I'll need music, though. Something unique and different. I don't know about that part. I might need to find someone who is good with writing music or mixing existing music. If absolutely necessary, I could just use an existing piece of music, but how would that reflect on me?
I can't wait until they post the deadlines, application, and requirements for fall 2009. I need to make plans, and I need the exact dates to figure everything out. Miami or Houston .. Houston is closer, I think, but Miami was a day earlier this year. Would it be better to audition earlier or later? Later has me still firmly in their minds when it comes time to make their decisions, but earlier gives me a chance to set the bar higher for everyone auditioning after me.
And I know, I just know that if we win state this year, that will help set me apart from everyone else. I'm only a junior and I'm captain of the dance team. If we can win, ... when we win, that will be impressive. A junior leading her team to victory. Most captains are seniors. Everyone who's going to be auditioning has been dancing for most of their lives, too. I have to stand out. Going to Julliard is everything to me. There is no plan B.
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| 002 |
[08 Apr 2008|10:28pm] |
| [ |
music |
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The Beatles: "Eleanor Rigby" |
] |
Does everyone but me watch nothing but reality TV? I don't really watch much TV anyway, but when I do watch TV, I don't waste my time watching that "reality" stuff that isn't even reality. Harry sent me a letter today. He wanted to know if anyone has blown the chemistry lab up lately. He asks that in nearly every letter he writes me and seems disappointed when I tell him every time that nobody has. Also, apparently dog walking fell through. He said he might get a job at Juilliard mopping floors or something so that he can be closer to me when I get there. He said that he might try selling hot dogs at the Statue of Liberty next.
I miss him. He's my best friend and he just left. And then Mom and Dad wouldn't let me apply Early Admissions to Juilliard. I want to finish high school anyway, but they didn't even let me have that option.
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| 001 |
[06 Apr 2008|12:11pm] |
My name is Phoebe Charleson, but you can call me Fee. I’m seventeen, a junior, and Captain of the Dance Team. This semester, I’m in Chemistry, Civics, English IV, and Dance IV Jazz/Modern (in that order). I will be attending Juilliard after I graduate NO MATTER WHAT and get an apartment with my older brother Harry in New York. You might remember Harry better than you know me from when he dropped out of school six years ago that was the drama of the year, at least for my family and ran away to “The Big Apple.” Anyway, after Juilliard, I’m going to become a famous dancer and choreographer. Mikhail Baryshnikov and Alessandra Ferri are my heroes.
Right now it’s just me and my parents at home. Our house is in Windsor. My dad is a lawyer, he’s probably done lawyer-y things for your parents or even you and my mom is a trophy wife … cheerful, and she misses Boston, which is where she grew up. My oldest brother, Daniel, is in Hollywood, trying to become a famous screenwriter by waiting tables in practically every restaurant in Hollywood. Harry is in New York, like I said before, and this week he’s a dog walker. I have a pet white mouse named Baryshnikov, I like movies and books that actually have a plot and inspire you to think, and music that isn’t just people screaming into the microphone. I don’t watch much tv, my favorite color is blue and dance is my life. And everyone needs to just grow up and stop being so incredibly childish and immature. Seriously.
I prefer to be left alone because the drama of high school is way too immature, so just leave me alone and continue ignoring me like you have been forever and I’m not a big fan of small talk, since small talk seems rather pointless. If you don’t have anything to say, just don’t talk.
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